I still remember the moment I told them. The lights in the room started flickering. I was preparing myself to be hit.
My heart still races when I think of those fearful flickering minutes of my life. Instead, they warned me that they would go and kill him. Every day I would wake up to the words that their biggest mistake in life was to educate me. This hurt deeply. Every hour of every day, I would negotiate.
One day, after promising that I loved them and would never do anything to bring them shame, my family finally allowed me to leave. I was back to work, thankful to God that I was in one piece, but filled with so many fearful thoughts. This battle to get one yes from my parents went on for four more years. They stopped talking to me. They warned me that they would disown me if I married him. Every time they threatened or warned me, I would leave everything and travel two days by train just to hug them and tell them I loved them.
They fired every warning and threat at me that they could. I felt hurt every single time and felt like giving up on them. But I believed they loved me, and they just needed to believe that they would be okay and society would also be OK if I married the man I love. My soul mate joined me in showering love on my parents.
He started sending them flowers and cards with handwritten notes. Please update your billing details here. Please update your billing information. The subscription details associated with this account need to be updated. Please update your billing details here to continue enjoying your subscription. Your subscription will end shortly. E of 28 April , which is provided below, could not be found among the sources consulted by the Research Directorate.
According to the Human Rights Commission of Pakistan HRCP , an independent non-governmental organization, a generalization concerning the situation of males, particularly Pashtun males, in North West Frontier Province NWFP who refuse to participate in an arranged marriage, is almost impossible to make and each case should be examined individually 15 Apr.
The HRCP's position is the same on the issue of whether the bride-to-be could marry someone else if such an engagement is terminated-each case should be examined individually HRCP 15 Apr. In the opinion of the Joint Director, in each case, the situation of the groom-to-be and the bride-to-be, their family, the circumstances and whether they live in a rural or urban area of the province would need to be examined ibid.
Speaking generally and without reference to the Pashtun community, the Joint Director indicated that a man who refused to accept an arranged marriage would be placed under great pressure socially and from his family and might have his family ties severed ibid. More serious consequences are unusual but would depend on the individual circumstances ibid. The Joint Director added that a woman whose intended husband refused the marriage could legally and morally pursue marriage with someone else, but might suffer considerable social stigma.
In such circumstances, it may be somewhat difficult for her to find a suitable match ibid. Some have entered into arranged marriages because of the need to ensure that they do not 'stray' from what has become a way of life for the family they are born into.
Some people have been known to refuse to enter into arranged marriages, either because they believe strongly in 'women liberation' and 'feminism', or because they believe they are capable of working out their own love lives without interference. Miley Cyrus and Liam Hemsworth love story until their split. Some have been 'rubbished' as a form of punishment, to the extent that no one will want to marry them, simply because they refused to enter into the arranged marriage with the potential spouse.
Divorce in the Bible: This is what the Holy Book says. The truth remains that there are different outcomes of arranged marriages, making it difficult to ascertain which method is the best, and the consequences sometimes appear to be too much burden, leaving no room for one to reconsider.
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